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A warehouse of knowledge with a storefront full of pornogrophy
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| | Subject: | Someone had a bad night but it wasn't me | | Time: | 01:58 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/tired.gif) tired |
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| While heading home from the theater (Whee Batman) last night shortly before midnight, the driver ahead of me slammed on his brakes in an intersection, coming to a stop just after it. I stopped as well (rather than hit him) and hit my flashers. The driver stepped out of his dark blue Chevrolet compact, a boy of perhaps eighteen wearing a cheap suit, his collar open and without a tie. A large bruise covered his right cheek, and a band-aid crossed its middle.
I lowered my window and stuck out my head to ask if he was okay.
"My car just died," he answered, shutting his door.
"Do you have a phone?"
"No."
Now... because of some past events, I am not quite as trusting an individual as I once was, however, this kid looked broken. I got out of my car and gave him my phone. He called a friend to come pick him up, then asked if I would push his car into the nearby supermarket parking lot. I agreed.
I got back in my car, intending to drive it to that lot first to get it out of the way. Even with my flashers on, I wasn't keen on the notion of someone not paying attention and smashing into the back of my car. But before I started moving, the kid shouted, "Aw shit!"
He'd locked his keys in the car.
"Your buddy is on the way?" I asked him.
"Yeah. He's like a mile from here."
"Well, tomorrow is another day, my friend." I waited for traffic to clear and drove home. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| | Subject: | I hope you get outsourced! | | Time: | 03:16 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/aggravated.gif) aggravated |
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| Today I had to deal with a woman from a call center. Her accent was, at my best estimate, a mad conglomeration of Brooklyn, Boston, and "fack off with youse all and youse's grammar words;" at any rate, her accent was definitely that of an indigenous white person. The trouble was that this was an important and complicated situation that I needed to understand, but her accent and syntax were so awful I had the damndest time comprehending her meaning.
I kept longing for some guy named Sukdeep Reddynaharajanup who goes by "Sam" in some tiny New Delhi cubicle at 3 A.M. local time who could actually speak English. | | comments: 12 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Burglars For Fire Safety | | Time: | 02:15 pm | | Current Mood: | aggravated |
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| In its great wisdom, the fine Village of Schaumburg has decreed that security bolts are a fire hazard and may no longer be installed on doors of businesses and other public buildings. The official reasoning behind this ordinance is that such bolts may rust and fuse shut, preventing escape in case of fire. Fire inspectors are currently making rounds throughout the village. So serious is this ordinance that they require any existing bolts be removed in their presence.
Never mind every such bolt I've ever seen (including the one I mounted on my shop's back door following a burglary attempt) feature a heavy zinc coating and are therefore rust proof.
Of course, it so happens that the fine Grainger corporation which has a local office sells an approved emergency break-away security bolt for a mere $500.00 ($750.00 installed).
Golly, I wonder who lobbied for this? | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Journalism is X-TREAM | | Time: | 06:01 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/amused.gif) amused |
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| Some guy's nose is bitten off by "a friend" and it makes it to bbc.co.uk? Yay serious journalism.
[edit]: Holy crap! The volume on that video goes up to eleven!
But who cares about that? This man's name is John Brash.
JOHN. Tittyfucking. BRASH.
This man needs to be in movies. Or pro wrestling. Or those Mountain Dew commercials.
John Brash
IS!
John Brash
IN!
The John Brash Story:
Nobody nose the trouble I've seen.
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| | Subject: | MUSIC! | | Time: | 11:52 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/touched.gif) touched |
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| I discovered a piano piece new to me, and I love it.
Exodus. When I first heard it, I didn't know who'd written it. It has, to me, a rather modern sound. Turns out it's by none other than lovely, lovely Ludwig Van himself. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court overturned a 32 year old ban on handgun ownership in Washington, DC. Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, who is quite protective of his own handgun ban in the city of Chicago, responded with an angry speech, in which he stated, "why don't we do away with the court system and go back to the Old West, you have a gun and I have a gun and we'll settle it in the streets?""
Banning guns does not reduce violence because guns do not cause crime. Poverty and desperation causes crime. Poor educational systems cause crime. The drug war causes crime. Untreated mental illness causes crime. I hope that this decision is a step toward addressing these causes of crime rather than stripping good citizens of their right to self defense. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Dreams are funny sometimes | | Time: | 04:09 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/hungry2.gif) hungry |
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| Such as when I dreamt that I needed to get my self and my keyboard (the music kind) down from atop a concrete wall. Some woman I didn't know was up there with me, and rather than wait for me to be ready to catch my keyboard, she shoved it off the wall and it crashed to the floor and broke.
I was distraught.
Also, I needed a new keyboard. So I went shopping. Somewhere along the way, the keyboard stopped being broke and the fact was the keyboard was now surgically implanted in my stomach. "Maybe I won't have the next one inserted in me," I thought. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Drill me, Newt. Drill me hard. | | Time: | 02:43 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/annoyed.gif) annoyed |
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| Newt Gingrich wins the prize for the worst-ever mispronunciation of my last name.
Well, a telemarketer hired by his office does, at least. I received a call where the name-butcherer introduced Newt's "American Solutions" campaign to get authorization for more off-shore drilling and oil-shale mining in the Rocky Mountains, followed by a pre-recorded message from the Triturus carnifex himself.
Ok. Should America strive for energy independance? Absolutely. I could not agree more. The safest, cleanest, most obvious answer has been clear for 50 years. Say it with me, Dubya, "Nuclear Power."
Naturally, the enviornmentalists are just as opposed to nuclear power as they are to oil drilling and shale mining, and they hate hydroelectric power too. They love solar, and wind power is kind-of okay, but of course these are not even remotely viable sources for our present needs.
Modern nuclear power is incredibly safe. It's clean - the waste storage containers we have have been tested by being hit with cruise missles and haven't leaked. We have enough waste storage capacity to power the whole country for 100 years. And again, it's safe. Remember three-mile island? Blown completely out of proportion. If you stood atop the plant on that day, you would have received more radiation from the sun than the plant.
I mean, seriously. If France can do it... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Fire is fun | | Time: | 10:02 am | | Current Mood: | aggravated |
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| Last summer, some local kids poured gasoline over the playground equipment in the park behind my parents' house and burned it down.
Last night, someone did the same with the biggest tree in the park.
Shitheads. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | David Cronenberg eat your heart out | | Time: | 09:27 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/awake.gif) awake |
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| I've seen the aftermath of a high speed accident before, but I'd never seen one happen until yesterday.
I still don't know what caused it. Driving south on I-290 / I-355 a bit after two on Saturday afternoon, I was in the left lane when I saw one of the enormous light poles pop up into the air amid a cloud of dust about 100 yards ahead of me. As it fell backward to the ground I saw a northbound pickup truck slam through a second pole. The pole rolled over the top of the truck which now angled toward the southbound lanes and then rammed the concrete barrier and bounced backward as dust and sheet metal rained around it.
The truck hit less than 100 feet in front of me. I was already on my brakes, but if the K-rail had not been there, the truck would very likely have hit me, or I it. Immediately I pulled on to the shoulder, braking hard and avoiding debris. Slapping my thigh to check for my cell phone, I bolted out of my car and ran toward the truck, which I could now see was missing most of its front. The truck had hit hard. I don't recall precisely what I was thinking, but broken bones and blood and screaming would not have surprised me.
But I hadn't taken ten running steps before two people, a man and a boy in his early teens, emerged from the truck. I shouted to them, "Are you hurt?" Dazed, neither answered. By now I was next to them, separated only by the K-rail. I asked them again and the father answered, "Yeah we're fine." The boy, clearly unnerved, walked around behind the truck and pounded his fist once on the tailgate, shaking his head.
The truck's side curtain airbags were deployed, blocking the windows. Other drivers had stopped and and one asked if anyone else was in the truck. I asked if they had a phone, the man nodded and pulled a cell phone from his pocket. There was little left of the front end of the truck, but neither he nor the boy looked to have a scratch on them.
Northbound traffic had slowed to a crawl, and I looked to see for the first time where the light poles had fallen. Fortunately, neither landed in traffic, but I saw at least one man kicking stray pieces from the left lane and shoulder. There were now four people, myself included, who had stopped on the southbound side, and it was clear to me that everything could be done which did not require police, highway maintainance, or insurance adjusters. I shared a brief, collective "wow" and "those guys are lucky" with the others before returning to my car.
I noticed something odd as I sat down and shut the door. I was eerily calm. I don't think my pulse had changed a bit. | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Stephen King couldn't write this. | | Time: | 11:04 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/nauseated.gif) nauseated |
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| Imagine yourself as a new parent. Being the cautious sort, you install a simple wireless camera in the baby's room which you can view on a portable monitor, enabling you to keep an eye on your precious newborn while he sleeps. After setting it up, you switch on the monitor. The picture is fuzzy, so you fine-tune the reception. The image resolves into that of two boys, crying, naked, bleeding, and strapped to a table. Some of their skin is missing. You recognize the boys' faces. They are your neighbor's children.
News story | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Some kids are too talented | | Time: | 10:07 pm |
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A 6 year old playing the drums. I think it's to a Nightwish song called "Crimson Tide"
A 3 year old girl PERFORMING. Look at her freaking fingers.
And of course Nora the piano playing cat. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Oh God who is that? | | Time: | 02:08 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/curious.gif) curious |
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| Anyone who knows me personally knows that I continue to grow ever more thin on top. One woman asked after viewing my OkCupid profile, "omg do you have a comb-over?"
No. I do not have a comb-over.
Nonetheless, ithas been recommended to me by more than one lady that I shave my head. If I do this, there are certain options. Shall I simply go for the Mr. Clean look and proudly display my shiny bald pate to the world? Shall I display my street cred and cover it with a bandanna? Or shall I purchase a fisherman's hat? | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | You can be my wingman any time. *wink* | | Time: | 04:58 pm | | Current Mood: | amused |
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| Last weekend, ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) elisstar and saintedwyn and I watched Top Gun with the Rifftrack commentary by MST3K's Mike Nelson and Bill Corbett. We all agreed that we thought the movie was awesome when we were kids. We also realized, in recalling the movie, that there was an awful lot of gay stuff - sweat-stippled men taking showers and playing beach vollyball - that went over our heads back then. But we had no idea just how seethingly homoerotic this film is.
From the moment Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer lay eyes upon each other, the sexual tension in their sultry, coquettish gazes is undeniable. They frequently stand intimately close to one another, uttering their lines in husky whispers, their faces mere inches apart. And they are not alone. Many of the other pilots and RIOs, all of them pretty, muscular, and sporting perfectly gelled hair, share lean and hungry looks. On many occasions, a kiss between them would not have felt the least bit out of place.
By comparison, the relationship between Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis feels awkward and tacked on (the sex scene literally was, for it was added to the film after test audiences stated that they weren't clear on the nature of that relationship.) In fact, the only flight-crew character who didn't set off our gaydar was Anthony Edwards' character "Goose." It's worth noting that he's also the only character in the film who is clearly in a healthy and happy marriage.
Then there's the dialogue. So often, choice of word or idiom caused us to choke with amazement. Talk of "blowing sunshine up your ass," "get back on the stick", "in the saddle," and many more which I cannot recall. The final moment of the film, when Kilmer says, "You can be my wingman any time," and Cruise replies, "Bullshit, you can be mine!" should by all rights have ended with the two of them snogging.
For the record, I've nothing against gays or gayness. However, the sheer level of gayness in this very Regan-era, macho, America! Fuck yeah! film amuses the hell out of me. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar | | Time: | 02:13 pm |
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| I just got up from a nap. During that nap, I had a dream. In that dream, I was about to get married to an ex-girlfriend. It was the wedding day.
- Rather than rings, we were to exchange small handguns.
- I was having second thoughts... about the handguns, and suggested running out last minute and picking up some cheap rings.
- I realized we hadn't decided on vows yet and went to discuss this with the bride to be. I found her at a table in a baggy t-shirt and had the collar pulled up over her eyes. She was freaking out.
- She thought the rings was a bad idea and that we should stick to the guns. (this is interesting because eye-arr-ell, this girl's brother tried to kill himself with a handgun)
- I woke up. Thank goodness.
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| | Subject: | I do not get the vampire thing | | Time: | 09:47 am |
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| Let's stipulate for a moment that vampires are real.
Anne Rice can kiss my butt, for I have no sympathy for vampires.
Vampires must kill, or at least harm and/or enslave humans in order to survive. Therefore, they are, every one of them, an enemy which cannot be reasoned with or somehow "convinced" to stop.
They are not people following some evil dictator - humans who can be taught the error of their ways. This is not a hippo, shark, or other species of animal that occasionally eats people. the very existence of such a race is a direct threat to humanity's survival. They are AIDS, Ebola, the Bubonic plague. The only logical solution is genocide. | | comments: 13 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | A Googley meme | | Time: | 11:06 am | | Current Mood: | amused |
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| It was hard to find a result that didn't refer to a congressional bill for these....
1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Bill Needs Some Help To Expel Alien Gang Members
- I hear the Predator is good at that...
2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
MadMoll - Bungalow Bill Looks Like My Daddy.mp3
- Indeed.
3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
<b>Bill does</b> nothing, has no impact.
- Hey!
4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Bill Hates The Macarena
- The Internet speaks Truth.
5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search
<b>Bill goes</b> to a fertility clinic.
- Thousands of babies will have bad eyesight and massive chins.
6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Bill Loves Cake
- Cheesecake, in particular
7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Bill eats soul food, Obama tells tall tales
- I go to Aretha Franklin's restaurant for the best DAMN fried chicken in the state! "Only a rooster gets a better piece of chicken" comments Obama.
8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search.
<b>Bill has</b> foes looking for cover.
- You can run, but you can't hide.
9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google Search:
Gay Rights Bill Died in FL Senate
- Because the Gays want to steal our freedom!
10: Type in "[your name] will" in Google search:
Bill Will meet all of your Real Estate needs.
- Anybody want a house in a crappy rural Northern Illinois town? | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | 2 legs my people, 4 legs not my people. | | Time: | 10:47 am |
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| I have on various occasions encountered people who respond with rage when an animal is killed, and with joy when an animal kills a human. Those who wail at an image of a dead animal, but laugh at the image of a dead human. Those who cringe during a film when a dog's life is threatened, but watch blankly as scores of humans die. Those who will state, when confronted by this, "animals > people."
Perhaps another quality which makes human beings unique is our ability to turn against our own species so readily.
I'm aggravated when animals are wastefully killed (why don't mink farms use the meat for something?) and it saddens me to see a pet suffering because of negligence. But if I were faced with the choice of saving a human life or the life of an animal, I will choose the human.
A dead human baby is more tragic than a dead kitten. Why? Because I am a human. I need no other justification. | | comments: 12 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Nominee? | | Time: | 09:32 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/hopeful.gif) hopeful |
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| I saw Barak Obama interviewed last night concerning his all-but-certain nomination (even if Hillary continues to hope for a repeat of the Bobby Kennedy assassination ).
I disagree with at least half of his politics, but I continue to be impressed with his personality. There seems to be a very good chance he'll be our next President, and my biggest hope is that he'll bring some much-needed dignity back to the office. Another hope is that his presidency would have a positive effect on the African-American community which has at present an overwhelmingly self-destructive culture.
I also hear that McCain wants to hold an intense series of un-moderated town-hall style debates with questions from "average voters" rather than reporters, and that Obama seems likely to agree. Ideally, this sort of setting would also be good for America, regardless of which candidate is the most successful. Politics is too damned scripted. Certainly, both candidates will have pre-prepared answers to most anticipated questions, but with the proposed 10 debates a week, that's a lot of opportunity for actual off-the-cuff debate.
As to the liklihood of an Obama victory, with luck, a Democrat in office will also force the Republican party to snap out of its recent trend of cultivating our fear (of terrorists, crime, and those gosh-darn evil evil homosexuals) and actually get back to economics and fiscal responsibility. Not that I have a lot of faith in either party along these lines, but I can try to hope, at least. ; )
One thing I can say for this election - in both parties, the least-frightening candidate has received the nomination. Oh, sure, I'd have loved it if Ron Paul was the Republican nominee - I voted for him in the primary (along with 6% of Illinoisians! Woo!) - but I knew he never had a chance. By contrast, in '00 and '04, my attitude was, "Great. No matter who wins, I'm going to be pissed."
P.S. What ever happened to Liddy Dole? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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A warehouse of knowledge with a storefront full of pornogrophy
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